Song Fiction ~ Chances

The last song flash fiction of the year. How it is the week before Christmas already? I’m still shopping, but no one is surprised. This month the song is Chances by Five for Fighting. I love love love this band. Love them. The Riddle is one of my fave songs. Anyway, if you haven’t heard the song, please give it a listen.  I’ve shared the video below. And I hope you enjoy the accompanying short (lol, I even laughed myself) story.

“What are you doing? Seriously, man. What the fuck are you doing?”

Kane stared at his reflection in the mirror, listening to the last of his words slowly fade. He must be losing his shit if he’d resorted to talking to himself. Out loud. But…damn. He needed to hear the words. Watch the way his mouth formed them as he tried to make sense of why he was standing there, getting ready for another date with Justin. The same man Kane had told himself, a million fucking times not to get involved with. Because Justin—he was made for leaving.

Kane knew it. Had watched the man fall in and out of relationships, and sure, probably love, more times than Kane could count. It was as if Justin had a revolving door in his chest where he could let guys in then turn them around and shove them back out without ever being fazed.

Kane was fazed. He as the king of fazed. Maybe because he was always the guy on the receiving end of getting hurt. The one who never saw it coming. Who was continuously picking up the shattered pieces of his heart off the damn floor, knowing he’d never find every tiny shard. That he’d lost another bit of himself in another fucked up relationship with another wrong guy.

He should have “we can still be friends” tattooed on his forehead. Or maybe his ass because that was the last thing all his boyfriends saw of him as Kane walked out the door. Generally after finding his partner in bed with another man.

So why had he ever thought hooking up with Justin was the right call? Regardless of the fact he’d been halfway in love with the guy for the past three years. And by halfway, he meant ridiculously in love. Border line obsession. And not the good kind that entailed healthy habits or going to the gym everyday. The kind that messed with Kane’s head.

And his heart.

Fuck, his heart. He wasn’t sure it was even beating right now. Or maybe it was beating too fast. So fast he couldn’t even feel each individual thump in his chest. It was more like one long, never-ending thrashing against his ribs he just attributed to the crushing feeling any time Justin was in the room. Or inside Kane’s head. Which was basically 24/7, now that they’d started dating.

“You’re an idiot. Setting yourself up for another fall. You’d think you’d have learned your lesson by now. Justin’s way out of your league, not to mention not the settling kind. You’d be better off just stopping before you tell him just how far you’ve fallen. How long you’ve been waiting for a chance at…”

At what? And why didn’t it sound anymore convincing when he made it echo off the walls? He was in his last year of med school. He could stitch people up. Surely, he could figure out how to pick a guy who wouldn’t use him as nothing more than a safe place to fall for awhile. Someone who wanted him for…him.

Kane turned on the taps then splashed cold water over his face. The problem wasn’t Justin. It was him. The fact he was in love with Justin. That Kane didn’t want to play it safe. He wanted to be reckless. To kiss as if it was the first time. To love as if he’d never had a broken heart. And he wanted it believe it would last. That this time, they’d beat the odds.

He scrubbed his hand down his face. Him? Beat the odds? It’d take a miracle.

Or a way to cheat. To cheat love.

“Kane!”

His name mixed in with an obnoxious amount of banging on the bathroom door. He glanced at it in the mirror, silently flipping his roommate off.

“Kane! Dude! Get stop talking to yourself and get your ass out here. Justin’s been waiting for ten minutes, already.”

Kane groaned. Great. Now, Justin knew he’d been talking to himself in the bathroom. That was fucking perfect.

Kane towelled off, then ran his fingers through his hair one more time before heading for the door. He opened it, stopping dead when he nearly ran into Justin. The man had both hands on the doorframe, boxing Kane in if he tried to leave. He’d taken off his coat and shoes, standing there in a form-fitting long-sleeved shirt and jeans that outlined every firm muscle in his legs.

Kane swallowed. Shit, he knew exactly how Justin’s ass looked in those jeans. He’d watched the guy walk away more times than he’d admit to, and those pants didn’t do the man’s butt justice.

He sighed. “Sorry. I just need to grab my coat and—”

Justin kissed him. No pre-amble, no hesitation, just slipped one hand off the doorframe and into Kane’s hair before dragging his face forward. Justin’s lips slid over Kane’s, then his tongue was inside, tasting. Tangling with Kane’s before easing back.

Kane stared up at the man. They’d kissed, but nothing like that. Just polite, good night maybe we’ll go out again kind of kisses. Not the kind that set fire to Kane’s skin. Made him feel as if he was melting into the floor.

Justin thumbed the corner of Kane’s mouth as he gave him a devastating smile. “You are definitely one of a kind.”

“Did I miss something?”

“Just the part where you’re not the only one feeling out of their league.” He chuckled at Kane’s furrowed brow. “You do know that there’s a vent in the living room, right? it pretty much echoes everything you say in here.”

Kane’s mouth gaped open. “So, you heard—”

“Every word.”

“Shit. Look, Justin, I—”

“You’re wrong, you know. I’m not the one who’s out of your league. You’re the one who’s out of mine. You’re in med school. You play the guitar like it’s an extension of your arm, and I swear you can bench more than anyone else I’ve ever seen. And if that’s not enough…you’re a fucking nice guy. Too nice for the likes of me.”

Justin traced Kane’s lip. “You were also wrong about me, though. True, I’ve been a player, but not because I’m not the settling kind. But because the one guy I wanted was out of my league, and I didn’t know how to tell him I’ve been insanely in love with him for the past two years. Until now. So…how about we stay in tonight, and give this…give us…an honest chance. Because if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s beating the odds. And you’re definitely worth rolling the dice.”

 

And that’s it for me. Please join the rest of the ladies playing along this week.

Bronwyn  |  Jessica  |  Gwendolyn  |  Siobhan