YOU MIGHT BE A CANADIAN IF…

Hey all. It’s hump day and time for another blog. Trying to keep at it. Where does the time go? I’m always surprised when bam, it’s Tuesday again and I haven’t written the blog. And how is it already nearly the middle of August? I has the sad over that. I don’t want this summer to end. Endless sunshine, no school, fun times had by all….

Anyway, this week is our own version of the ever famous… you might be a redneck… Only we’re picking out own topics. And hell, I might as well go with something I’m familiar with…

You might be a Canadian if…

— You have a hockey stick in your car and use it for anything but hockey.

— You love eating beaver tails in the winter.

— You say it’s FRESH when it’s -20 degrees out, because that’s not cold yet.

— You think it’s warm when it’s 25 degrees.

— The cashier at Tim Horton’s knows your order before you do.

— You are constantly searching for Tim Hortons when you go abroad and wondering how they survive without it.

— You know they’re called Timbits, not doughnut holes.

— That the correct spelling of colour is with a U.

— You say sorry if someone bumps into you. Then apologize for saying it.

— You pronounce it SOREry, not sarry… And it’s PROgress, not pragress.

— You can name at least 10 Canadian bands just to prove we have some.

— You know the population of Canada because non-Canadians will ask and still be amazed we have less people in our entire country than just California.

— You answer seriously when someone asks you… hey, do you know Gordon? He’s from Canada, too.

— You’ve set something on fire in an attempt to curve a hockey stick.

— You feel SOREry when the Comedian isn’t funny.

— You know how much ‘gitch’ to pack before you’re ‘hooped’.

— You drive on a parkway and a highway, but not a freeway.

— You don’t drink beer under 6%. But then it’s not really beer, is it?

— You can spot a Canadian TV show from the first five seconds.

— You think plain ‘green’ money looks weird.

— The only thing better than maple and bacon is maple bacon.

— You can hum the Hockey Night in Canada anthem.

— You actually do say, eh. (I know Jarman, the UP says it too, but we invented it, damn it)

— Towns name streets after hockey players instead of actors.

— You call them hydro lines. And logging roads.

— The phrase Homo milk isn’t offensive.

— You have a large collection of Canadian Tire cash sitting in your junk drawer.

— You’re not allowed to have a loaded gun anywhere in your house or car. Ever.

— You’ve never taken any SATs…and know that College and University aren’t even remotely the same.

If that isn’t enough… watch this video. I freaking love it. Then check out the other ladies… eh.

 

Bronwyn Green  |  Kellie St. James  |  Gwendolyn Cease